Why women over 50 are hiding their struggles (and why that needs to change)

Image by Patricia Palma on Unsplash

A recent survey by the BACP reveals something I’ve seen across clients, friends and family: nearly two-thirds of women over 50 have struggled with their mental wellbeing since reaching midlife.

And almost nine in 10 of them keep these difficulties hidden.

Nearly half said they didn't want to burden others. A quarter put it down to a 'stiff upper lip' attitude towards mental health.

This doesn't surprise me. And it does concern me.

The perfect storm of midlife

Midlife for women is rarely just about one thing. It's often a convergence point where multiple pressures collide at once.

Menopause might be wreaking havoc with your body - hot flushes, disrupted sleep, brain fog. Your ageing parents might need more support, perhaps even full-time care. Your adult children might have left home, or they're still there but struggling in their own ways. Your career might be at a peak, or you're questioning whether this is really what you want to be doing for the next decade. Relationships might be shifting. Your sense of identity might feel shaky. Questions about purpose and meaning start surfacing.

And through all of this, many women feel they should manage it silently - or not really know how to deal with the struggle.

The lipstick campaign

So why the lipstick image?

In response to their findings, the BACP has launched a No More Stiff Upper Lip campaign featuring a limited-edition lipstick collection. It's designed to spark conversation and help women understand how therapy can support them during this time.

The campaign also emphasises choosing a therapist who is listed on a Professional Standards Authority accredited register - such as the BACP or the CNHC. When you choose someone on an accredited register, you can check their credentials, you know there's a complaints process if needed, and you have some reassurance about their training and commitment to good practice.

Stop thinking you’re a burden

If you're struggling right now - if you're stretched between caring for parents and supporting your children, if menopause is making you feel like a stranger in your own body, if you're questioning who you are and what comes next - you're not failing.

You're human. You're navigating something genuinely difficult.

Maybe you're thinking therapy isn't for you. You've always been the one who manages everything - you're a multitasker, a juggler, someone who just gets on with things. You've built your identity around being capable and resilient. Asking for help feels like admitting you can't cope.

Seeking support isn't about not coping. It's about acknowledging that juggling everything comes at a cost. It takes courage to admit when you need help. It takes strength to prioritise your own wellbeing when you've spent years - maybe decades - prioritising everyone and everything else.

How hypnotherapy can help

Hypnotherapy offers a space where you can finally stop managing everything and start exploring what's actually happening beneath the surface.

We can work on the physical symptoms of menopause - improving sleep, dealing with the flushes, easing the anxiety. We can explore questions of identity and purpose. We can address the possible feelings of loss around transitions - children leaving, parents ageing, relationships changing.

In hypnosis, your conscious mind can step back and create space to access the quieter parts of yourself that maybe you haven’t been listening to. You might rediscover parts of yourself or find clarity about what you actually want, not what you think you should want.

You deserve support too

If you're reading this and recognising yourself - if you've been keeping your struggles hidden because you don't want to burden anyone - it's time to care for yourself.

If you'd like to explore how hypnotherapy might support you through this time of transition, get in touch. I'm registered with the CNHC, and I'd be happy to have a conversation about how we might work together.

You don't have to keep that stiff upper lip anymore.